The Ostentatious Secret Garden

Monday, July 31, 2006

Sicko!

I am totally feeling sick now. I had a HUMONGOUS appetite yesterday, so big I couldn't believe it myself. I walked to Harbourfront to get a packet of chicken rice after school, then I snacked a little after dinner. Dad wanted to dine at Sakae Sushi at around 8pm, so we strolled down to Harbourfront again. Feeling full but not satisfied, I bought Subway sanhdwich to eat again. 0_0 I felt so fat can! Not that it matters, because my stomach was upset and I had diarrhoae. Thanks to the runs, I didn't sleep a wink yesterday because I was too busy visiting the fucking toilet every half an h0ur or so. Plus, slight fever this morning. What the fuck.

I wouldn't have come to school if not that it was Maths today and I had a Science UT. I badly need to buck up on my grades for these two subjects or I'll have to repeat the module, which I am so not going to.

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Keita appeared in my room at 7:29 PM
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Sunday, July 30, 2006

Boredon again!!

I am seriously feeling bored! So bored I think reading about isomers is fun. 0_0

I've finally learnt the Dakishimeru dancesteps! WoO..Trying to learn Valenti's one now. My feet and limps and joints are aching from the dancing on Saturday and Sunday. I don't feel like moving around.

I am so hungry!! I can feel the hydrochloric acid eating into my stomach's walls. I am starving!!

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Keita appeared in my room at 8:34 PM
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Thursday, July 27, 2006

Filming

Came school and went to Ngee Ann Poly to look for Mona and her team mates after that. Oh my god, I like NP so much, its not new, but they environment is just so..condusive for studying.

Anyway, went to my "abusive dad's" house to do the indoor filming. His house is so fucking nice ok! Its a double storey with a minature garden in front of the living room. And the interior design of the house is so exotic! Nevermind that, filming was long, tiring, but fun. I was so hungry in between that I actually thought an unripe banana is the best tasting fruit ever. 0_0

Filming ended around 11++ and we strolled down to this whole row of shops at Upper Thomson Road for dinner. Ate at this famous Roti Prata shop, and boy! It tastes damn good! I'm going to drag my dad down to eat there next time!

My stomach is aching now.

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Keita appeared in my room at 10:51 PM
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Sunday, July 23, 2006

Poetry

I have been doing some thinking over the past few days, and I have penned down my thoughts on this blog, only that I did not publish it because its supposed to be confidential.

So, I was talking to Mony an hour ago about stuff and it triggered further thoughts in me.

Somewhere in the misty woods;
Across the field,
Patches of wilted plants;
There, stood a grand-looking house.

With walls painted a pristine white,
A majestic door,
And a chimmy soaring high;
Oh, what a sight!

Bounded by pointy fences;
A ferocious dog standing guard,
Intimidating and ever so vicious;
Such seclusion.

In the house,
A woman sat - on a rocking chair,
Her hair greyer than anything;
Rocking on..endlessly.

Ok, just wrote this powm. There's two meanings behind it, but here is no need for anyone to know it. Grr..maybe I will die a horrible and gruesome death if I continue thinking like this.

Science tomorrow. Fuck! That bitch gave me D for last week. Immature kiddy bitch!!

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Keita appeared in my room at 3:32 AM
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Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Poem analysis

I am feeling super super tired right about this moment! Seriously, I think I need to buy sleeping pills to get me into deep sleep! All through the past 3 days, I have only been catching around 3 hours of nap per day. I feel deprived!

My team finished the presentation damn fucking early today, like we got everything done before the 2nd breakout. Munirah suggested putting friendship quotes into the powerpoint slides, so I went online to look for it. Most of the quotes were good, but I was looking for something that has deeper meaning to it, something that has more substance, something short yet sweet.

In the end, I chose these four quotes:

“My friends are my estate.”
“Friendship has no survival values, instead it gives value to survival.”
“The best mirror is an old friend.”
“True friendship is never serene.”
(I think mx will like these quotes.)

After choosing, I helped write out the analysis of the phrases for presentation.

Just as I was analysing the quotes, a sudden rush of craving for analysing poems hitted me right smack on the face. I missed Literature lessons, and how the class discusses the underlying meanings of each word and phrase with Ms Soh. Poets are amazing people, I think. They are able to come out with the weirdest kind of metaphors anyone can ever think of. Besides, they think so much into life and everything else that exists on Earth. Of course, thinking too much is never good, because it leads to depression when you have an epiphany on how morbid the world is, and the irony within. Still, I really do admire poets! eg. William Shakespeare, Emily Dickinson etc, just to name a few of the popular ones.

Currently working on an analysis of an Emily Dickinson poem. I wish Ms Soh is here to help me out with some phrases. I guess I'll have to learn to be more dependant instead of relying on others in all aspects of my life.

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Keita appeared in my room at 9:44 PM
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Its 10.31pm now. Just woke up. I have been sleeping since 7pm, and I am absolutely exhausted because I've only slept for 4.5 hours in the past 2 days. And now that I am awake, am pondering how I can fall asleep again later in the night.

I have been losing appetite recently and I only had one meal per day since sunday, crap. I think something is wrong with me. I feel like eating now, and I am totally starved, but I am too lazy to walk to the kitchen to get food. I have shed another kg!!!!! 2 more Kgs to lose before I reach my desired 37kg~

I bought a new pair of Converse sneakers today, and 2 new tops. I am happy girl. Mommy received this $180 vouchers from Tangs!! She's bringing me to shop on Saturday! ECSTACY!

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Keita appeared in my room at 7:35 AM
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Sunday, July 16, 2006

Emo poem

Personification

The melody plays in my heart
The beat of the piano narrates a story untold
Each note with reminisence of the past
Every single bit of it lingers on.

The neverending railway
The train that runs forever
The tunnel which light can never seep in
Reflection of the confusion that one harbours within

Emotions fill the spaces in a container
Entrapment, sealed up tight.
It rises up, higher and higher
But it never burst, it just keeps going.

A night with the absence of stars
The moon hangs alone
Solitary engulfs the Earth
All sucked into a dimension of nothingness.

I am who I am
A silhouette against the setting sun
Limping and helpless
Clueless with no directions.

I am what I am
Looking into a mirror
With a stranger staring back
Unfamiliarity.

It is what I am
Gazing right through a pink balloon
When a pin pokes
Reality sets in.

I know this poem is weird, and Steve is probably gonna complain over msn/tagboard aboyut how emo it sounds, but I don't care. I usually prefer to write poem which are metaphoric, but its ok. Inspiration and a rush of feeling hits me in class while I was listening to the instrumental of Eien No Tochuu, and the piano just makes me want to write something. So here it is. I apologize if the poem sucks and it annoys you, but I don't care. .....

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Keita appeared in my room at 9:59 PM
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Obsesity

I feel so bloated after the past 2 days of pigging out!! All the fats and oil are already clumping together and accumulating in my body! If I ever step up on the scale, the scale will explode right on my ass, and my fats, flesh and intestines will burst out in every possible direction. So, with this terrible nightmare in mind, I didn't eat for the whole day yesterday other than the beehoon.

Also, thanks so much to Mony's dad for the lunch yesterday and thanks Mony and dad again for everything in the past 2 days. The stayover was damn fun!

And I'm going to copy Steve and post 35 randoms of myself. Yes, this is out of boredom while I am stoning in class.

1 I love coffee and I can't live without it.
2 Contradicting enough, I can only sleep after drinking coffee.
3 I only drink ice lemon tea from Macs.
4 My wardrobe is damn messy, and I cant be bothered to tidy it.
5 I like sheeps.
6 I like my BaaBaa and Bolar.
7 My favourite cartoon is Spongebob Squarepants and Dexter's Laboratory.
8 My favourite character in Spongebob Squarepants is Squigwart(however you spell it).
9 I am fat
10 When I wear spectacles at home, I never dare to look at myself in the mirror.
11 When I sleep, I don't stay in one position. I will wake up in the opposite direction.
12 I don't sleep well without my PaoPao pillow.
13 Steve says my shit are durians. 0_0
14 I believe after shitting, I will weigh less.
15 I bathe before I eat cos' I can't bear to see my stomach bloated.
16 I go to Kinokuniya alone when I am bored and trap myself in one corner to read.
17 I like to fall sick.
18 I know how to read chinese characters, but I never understand most of the words.
19 My stomach is aching now and I need to shit.
20 I like literature and interpret/write poems when I feel inspired.
21 I have insomia!!!! ARRR!!
22 I am deprived of prom. =( No thanks to Botak who never keep to his promise!
23 I don't like skirts, but if I do wear them, I like it short.
24 I like Converse sneakers.
25 I only wear heels when I feel super vain.
26 I wear sneakers 96% of the time, 1.9% slippers, 2% barefooted and 0.1% heels.
27 Black hair looks like holyfuckingshit on me.
28 Taiwanese celebrities annoys the hell out of me.
29 I stare at the sky/ceiling when I am bored at night.
30 I count sheeps to fall asleep.
31 I counted 773 sheeps yesterday.
32 I like to eat at Sakae Sushi!
33 My most expensive top costed me $500 from Versace.
34 My cheapest shirt costs $10 and I like beanies!!
35 I need to pee now..because of the Peeing Formula.

Ok. I want to post more randoms, but that would exceed the 35 randoms limit. I'll continue tomorrow. I think the Macs Mony and I ordered on Saturday is contaminated. I have been having diarrhoa for the past few days. I don't mind though, I feel thinner after every toilet trip. =) Ok, that was a dirty and putrid sentence, but whatever.

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Keita appeared in my room at 7:32 PM
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Saturday, July 15, 2006

Filming is tough

Did the filming for Mona's group at Ngee Ann oly today. Slep for 2 hours yesterday and had to rush over to prepare. I was suppose to take the role of an abused child. So, I got to had to have all the bruises and cane marks on my arms and face. Mona is a good make-up artiste and she draws very realistic bruises.

Took photos while we were waiting for the rest at the Ngee Ann Poly atrium.

Tell me why I look so hideous and retarded in the above pics..

Xiuling took this pic. I thought she was taking Jerald's pic, but it turned out I was also in the picture. -_-" and I happen to look bored out and tired. Stupid me.

HOT WEATHER!! I WANT SAKAE SUSHI!

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Keita appeared in my room at 11:16 AM
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Friday, July 14, 2006

Slumber!

I am now enjoying my first slumber party in my entire life ever! Did facial with Mony just now. And dinner was good! Mony's mum is a great cook! I love the soup! Ohh..I am so excited now. We are practically pigging out right now. We shared a quarter tub of vanilla ice cream and had 2 or 3 pieces of Famous Amos cookies. Then we ordered Macs are 12++am. 0_0 There were like 2 large fries, 1 Mcnuggets and 1 Fish Dippers. We ended up leaving 2 and a half packets of fries untouched and add on a few pieces of nuggets. -_-" Oh, and never order ice lemon tea after midnight! It sucks! So diluted, like urine. FUCK!!!!

Ok. I feel so full. I'm gonna do my 100 daily sit-ups now to burn off my tummy fats. I hate lumps on tummies. So gross can.

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Keita appeared in my room at 11:19 AM
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Thursday, July 13, 2006

Popping up like mad

Every month, there will be at least 5 days I look like crap, with breakouts of pimples and whatsoever, and I totally HATE, DISLIKE, DISDAIN, FUCKING HATE these 5 days. The reason for the breakout, its personal and I shall not reveal it..Mony..you should know why, all girls should know why.

I haven't eaten for the whole day, and I still have no appetite for anything. But, I add half a cup of a 90ml Hiaagen Diaz ice-cream. =( Calories and fats and sugar level.......Who can teach me how to dance Moto and Girls on Top!?!?

Actually, I miss wearing NVSS' uniform. I miss tucking out my shirt and folding my skirt...so let me be emo for one day and post photos of the days I can violate all rules. =) Thanks mx for sending me the pics!

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Keita appeared in my room at 6:28 AM
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Monday, July 10, 2006

Round and round

I almost got banged down by a taxi just. Mum and I walked to Harbourfront to get my contact lenses done just now, and surprisingly, the lady said my degree decreased! 0_0 whao, I am shocked, to think I thought I was going blind when my vision got blurer some days back. So anyway, when we crossed the pedestrain crossing, this crazy driver came dashing for me and stopped centimetres before it touched me. I was too stupefied to do anything and simply stared at him. My mum called the Citycab comapany and complained though.

Drifting under the pale moonlight, she tried her best to keep the little boat moving. It was hard getting a tiny sampan to keep on navigating with the mere strength of a little girl. As much as she knows she should give it her best shot, she couldn't. All was vague under the lonely night, where crickets sing the tragedy of the child's fate. Her future was in a bleak. There and then, she knew, emptiness and misery filled her lungs with every breath she took. She had taken the single path to the road of doom, the place where danger looms. There is no turning back. Darkness engulfed her vision as the last bit of engery slowly ooz out of her..

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Keita appeared in my room at 7:58 AM
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Sunday, July 09, 2006

Third World country

I forced myself to come to school today. I felt damn tired because my beauty sleep was disturbed at 2am when my brother watched the world cup in my room. Of all the places, in my room.

And I am feeling damn famished now. But I am using the reverse psychology method to make myself think that I am full. I can't afford to eat anymore! My family and I went to dine at Sakae Sushi yesterday and I ate ALOT, now I got to starve. =(

Once again, I'll rant about how being a woman is a hell lot of trouble.

$$$+clothes+figure+material stuff+looks=perfect woman

So many factors to becoming the perfect Goddess of all time. WHY!? Then again, there is one main thing that contribute to this perfection, and that is MONEY! You see, with money, however hideous you are, you can undergo plastic surgery, and the ugliest boar-face can be transformed into the most ravishing and beautiful one anyone have ever seen. With money, the most obese person on earth can become the slimmest, most anorexic person just by liposuction. The rest is history. Now you see the importance of mnoney? Money is my new God. I worship money, I eat money for my meals, and I shit Money.

I cut my finger by accident yesterday and the whole skin came off, hence revealing the raw red flesh. Its excruciatingly painful.

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Keita appeared in my room at 9:28 PM
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Reminesence

Finished reading Da Vinci. Anyway, my mind is filled with thoughts of that Keita-lookalike I saw at Desaru! Its not that I am desperate, but for some reason, ever since I saw him on January this year, thoughts of him just lingers in my mind. He really looks too much like the young Keita! The body build, the face, the earrings he wore, the wrist band, the hair and complexion. When I told my mum I saw someone who looked like Keita that time, she was like "What?! Maybe it is really Keita. Go ask for his autograph!" -_-" Never mind that, that guy looks Italian/Mexican/Indonsian/Philipino. I don't know his nationality, but I know he is not a Singaporean because there is not a single tinge of the Singaporean look.

Ignore this entry. I am posting in hope for clearing my mind. I WANT MONEY!! I am running out of clothes! Argh, Imma drag my mum down to town to get me new clothes tomorrow!!!!!

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Keita appeared in my room at 6:45 AM
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Saturday, July 08, 2006

Returns

I am re-reading Da Vinci Code. I hate the Sunday TV programmes. There is absolutely nothing pleasent on the cable. I am enjoying life without the TV, on bed, reading a good book, with the cool air-con breeze and and a nice hydrating masque over my face. =)

My mum has agreed to preorder w-inds' 2006 live tour from Japan, online. Happiness~ Oh well, even if she doesn't order for me, I can always use her credit card to order it myself. -_-"

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Keita appeared in my room at 11:59 PM
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Boredom is the IN thing

I'm tired out from this week's hectic schedule. I missed school yesterday. No, not because I ponned on purpose, but I overslept. I woke up at 3pm only to realise I am supposed to be in school. Why in the hell didn't my parents wake me up, I don't know. And no, I'm NOT a pig just because I sleep too much.

What is your favourite season? Mine used to be autumn, and I am pretty sure it is still autumn now. But I was staring out at the sky just now, and I thought summer is a pretty cool season too. Just imagine sun-tanning with the rich golden sunlight pouring down, and the beautiful blue cloudless sky above. Oh man~ Haven! One flaw of summer is that its so fucking hot!! (Summer reminds me of the cute Keita-lookalike guy I saw at Desaru early this year. =) )

I HATE spring! The thought of flowers bloomign everywhere irks me! To hell with those fucking flowers!~ And what's up with wearing flowery clothings on spring?! THERE IS NO FUCKING LINK! Damn!

Winter is good!!! White Wintery Christmas. Jingle bells, jingle all the way~~ I like Christmas~ I like how the christmas feeling saturates the air of Ohchard road. I like presents!

~~FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK! I HATE MY FUCKING CHEEBYE FATHER! I HOPE HE GETS A STROKE AND DIE! ASSHOLE!~~

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Keita appeared in my room at 1:31 AM
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Tuesday, July 04, 2006

INCUBUS ITALIANS!

WHAT THE DAMN OF A FUCKING HELL!!1 WHY DID GERMANY LOSE?!?! KNNBCCB #$%&@!!!! Japan lost before the quarters, I was already as disappointed as it is, but nevermind, at least Germany got through all the matches and I was placing ALL and I mean ALL my hopes on Germany. Now...FUCK SIA!

I hate the Italians! I'll never set foot in their country ever again! I'll fill their pizzas with dungs and stuff it down their damn fucking throat. I'll get Osama to bomb the putrid country, kill ALL the Italians, and throw their rotting bones into the soccer pit to pay back for the angst of all Germany supporters!!!

FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK

I hope France kick the Italians back to their irritating homeland and may they get stuck in the toilet bowl and have constipation all day long. May those shits remain in their anus/large intestines forever and rot in there!!!!!

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Keita appeared in my room at 5:57 PM
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Monday, July 03, 2006

......

Monotone and mundane Monday. School was like usual, no elaboration needed.

Went town to check on stuff and bought a good novel.

And I am happy because I just lost a kg when I weigh myself on the scale 4 hours ago. Starving and dancing works. =) From now on, I'll avoid taking cabs as much as possible so that I can walk more to shed off more calories. Girls are so troublesome, please let me become a good looking, tall and cool playboy my next life. Yes, I beg you God, I promise to turn vegetarian and pray to you 24/7 a day if you let my wish come true. Amen.

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Keita appeared in my room at 8:36 AM
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Sunday, July 02, 2006

iPop, iNod

WHOO~~ I got my iPop Nano today~!! My mum got the iPop Video, so we are two very happy people. I was pondering over which colour I should get just now. White? Cos its so class and pristine pure. Or black because its a cool colour and I've always love black. I decided to get black instead.

Hoho..my brother is sulking now because he got his Zen Creative a few months back and my mum refused to buy him anything from the Apple Centre. =) I love to gloat over my brother's misfortune!!! Too bad for him, asshole!!!

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Keita appeared in my room at 5:00 AM
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Saturday, July 01, 2006

Long break

Been too lazy to update the blog, so I'm going full blast today.

Finally, I've memorized BoA's My Name dancestep a few days ago. Now, I make my myself dance to the song 15 times a day to keep in shape. Although the dancesteps doesnt seem vigorously or tiring, once you start dancing, you'll feel damn exhausted. Oh, and I am obsessed with KISS' Because I'm a girl and Mr Children's songs. Now I know why Keita likes Mr Children's song so much. =)

Anyway, went towning with Mony and Steve today. Steve was late by 45 mins!!! GRRR..and then he mistook Lido for Cineleisure. Nevermind that, so me and Mony went to Lido to check out the time for Just My Luck and the earliest timeslot is 5.10!!(it was 2.30 then) We had to bloody make a trip down to Cineleisure only to find the earliest timing there to be 7.35pm. WHAT THE FUCK!!

Feeling hungry and pissed at the timings, we thought we could dine first before strolling down to Lido to get the 5.10pm tickets again. Lunch was good!! I got my Macaroni Gratin again!~~ So after lunch, went to Heeren to shop and rushed too Shaw. But you know what?! Luck is fucking effing damning against us!! THE FUCKING LADY THERE TOLD US THERE WERE NO MORE DAMN PUTRID TICKETS LEFT FOR THE SHOW!! BLEAH!! KAO PEI!!! Since food is always the best way to keep one's temper under control, the three of us went to NYDC to eat again. YES, EAT!

After visiting the Apple Centre today, I have decided to get a new Ipod! My MP3 played is stolen by I-dont-know-who, and my ears are itching for music recently. Getting my mum to buy me the Ipod Nano this week. Its damn cheap! 1GB for S$258 only. I wanted to buy Ipod video at first, but then again, its a waste of money, how often do I actually need to watch a video when I have computers!?

Oh! On the escalator up to Lido, I saw this group of Japanese guys. They are C-U-T-E. Sorry for being cheesy and cocky and Novemder-like, but they really are adorable!

If I am the president, I will kill all the chiobus and ugly girls, leaving behind both the hideous and good-looking guys. Why leave behind the ugly guys, you will ask. Because then I can amuse myself by laughing at their mutated face. =) Mona will join the president-ship as well, and we will demolish all buildings, constructing a majestic Istana which is half the size of the island. The rest of the land will be developed into a shopping and leisure area. The country shall be named SingMoTeuek(combination of Mony and my name). All the poor peasents shall grow Apricots for a living, and the country survive on exporting all our apricot products. Apricot shampoo, Apricot shower gel, Apricot Shit. ^_^ What a fabulous country it will be!!

LALA~~ Soccer tonight!!! My family is going to town to watch the match at the cafe outside Wisma Atria later!!

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Keita appeared in my room at 8:18 AM
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Protagonist

My Thinspiration

Coveting For

Gossip Girls

The Niakers